I'm currently traveling on a ferry, and over the last few weeks, I've been struggling with focus and final decisions. I have the feeling that it's crucial that I begin to choose and be more honest with myself about what I am choosing. I'm frustrated because this past year was supposed to be that year, but I found myself continuing to split responsibilities (often maxing at around 4) and getting very little done, in my opinion. I have made certain progress, but not as much as I would like. I think that I need to be writing even more consistently and defining what work looks like for myself. I also find that there's a possibility I suffer from extreme imposter syndrome. Maybe, in fact, I am making progress, and I would be more proud of myself if I viewed things from a higher vantage point, but that is not clear. I feel writing does provide some semblance of a guide, no matter how unorganized or inconsistent.

Currently, I'm finishing "Poor Charlie's Almanac" by Charlie Munger, and I just finished re-reading "Principles" by Ray Dalio and read for the first time "Mastery" by Robert Greene. I am absolutely amazed by how well these three books read together. Not only are there similarities on a conceptual level, but there are literally the same examples given and conclusions drawn from those examples. For example (no pun intended), both Charlie and Greene discuss Charles Darwin's development of modern evolution theory. They don't just describe his discovery but more the qualities that make him a reasonably impressive thinker (using mental models and borrowing from different disciplines a la Charlie) and someone who committed to mastery by going against the curve (a la Greene). Though the amazing comparisons do not stop there. Darwin religiously lived by Principles, and it wouldn't surprise me if he had written them down as he discovered them to guide his thinking, which is essentially the "one big idea" from Dalio's book. There are more examples: both Greene and Munger discuss Ben Franklin, all three allude to the general requirement of thinking independently, and both Munger and Dalio explicitly discuss "second-order effects and third-order effects". The list goes on. These three books are an incredible pair, and I almost feel as if I need to read all three all over again, maybe this time with a pen and notepad, as it's that striking.

But what should I be taking away from all this? Generally, I find it all a bit frustrating. I don't feel like I'm on my Darwin journey across the Atlantic, with a Captain that I don't like, on a mission only I understand, in which I valiantly left behind a world of comfy academia. I don't think that I have developed a vast network of mental models from different disciplines, I don't write down my principles, and I'm not sure I always think about the second- and third-order effects of my decisions. Lastly, I'm certainly not a master at anything (or on my way to mastery). Which brings me to my last point: what am I "best in the world at?"

I've been thinking about this last bit a lot because, as someone who is determined to put themselves through the process of building something (ideally a successful and highly profitable business), I need to once and for all either determine where I fit. I do think, on one hand, I have moved in certain directions that could be some early signs of my Atlantic boat ride: investing, interpersonal skills, and technology. Though I wouldn't be cited as an expert on any. Then I also have to consider maybe it's what I would feel comfortable talking to a group about. I would be comfortable discussing real estate to a group, the future of certain fringe technologies, certain sports like skiing, and the buck essentially ends there. Which leads me to think that I am, in a way, a master of none, a generalist, which is not a bad thing. There are plenty like me who have become extremely successful. Look at Kirk Kerkorian or Thomas Tull. I would consider them generalists. Hell, even, and I know I will cringe horribly looking back on this, Charlie Munger and Warren Buffett are technically generalists.

Where does all this confusion, frustration, and drive leave me? It leaves me with a couple of things that I think I can do right now to look back from 35 and say, "Well done, sir": write consistently, continue being committed to physical health, get 1% (maybe 5%) better every single day, commit to learning every day, read more, and never stop being positive (but realistic). That last bit is the thorn; I do tend to lean overly optimistic, which has gotten me into hairy situations, and I'm sure will continue to do so, but I think as long as I ground myself (well, maybe some Principles wouldn't hurt), I'll be pleasantly surprised by 35.

All things considered, I'm an extremely lucky person and think it's clear I've already won the lottery living in America and having my health. Onwards and upwards.

NM